More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

"Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot."
"You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled."
"Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot."
"I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do."
"I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that."