You should never assume. You know what happens when you assu... - Ellen DeGeneres
"You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled."
"You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled."
"I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do."
"For some reason, we can't just enjoy somebody else's success. Somehow, that's going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less - and I don't know why."
"Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it."
"Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log."
"I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you're supposed to feel all kinds of things."