You should never assume. You know what happens when you assu... - Ellen DeGeneres
"You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled."
"You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled."
"For some reason, we can't just enjoy somebody else's success. Somehow, that's going to affect us. If they have more, then I have less - and I don't know why."
"I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that."
"Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings."
"I would love for the world to be happier."
"Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it."