More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The trick to looking ageless is drinking 55 gallons of #FlashBangWowFuzz every 4-6 hours. 24-hour discounts available."
"Older doesn't necessarily mean wiser. Some trees live to be hundreds of years old, and what the fuck do they know?"
"I would argue that unless the two people are in love, all sex is bad sex, because why eat cotton candy when you can have edible clouds? Sure, it seems sweet at the time, but that’s just a carnival and carnal rush and wears off quickly. But love adds an extra dimension that takes an earthy thing like sex and makes it absolutely heavenly."
"She’s twelve hours in the future, and exactly half a world away. No matter how hard I try, I will always be a part of her past."
"The going rate for love is going away. And the more you go away, the more expensive it gets."