More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"We made love like a goat has four legs like a table. If your dining room table can walk, it’s best to eat while sitting in wheelchairs."
"Either I will love you, or I will love you if and only if you love me in return. I prefer the former."
"My brain is divided into two butterflies, and both are in love with your rose-shaped heart. If you've got the garden, I've got my whole life."
"If you want me, you’d better hurry. Act now, supplies are limited."
"If I fail to succeed, I have succeeded in failing."