"The chair I want for my office has wheels, so I can put it on my treadmill and get some exercise while I work. Likewise, we can’t let a love like ours just roll on by without trying to work things out."
"I have a lot of love to give, because free samples are the best way to encourage sales."
"My ex-girlfriend was exquisite, while my current girlfriend is merely quisite. The ex always makes the past seem more excellent than the present."
"An empty ketchup bottle full of romantic quotes is just what I need to turn my cheeseburger into the perfect lover. Now you can get more romantic for an upcharge of just 69 cents."
"Opportunity is not your opponent—it is your ally, but it’s hard to see that because opportunity is often camouflaged and hidden among danger and chaos."
"When it’s raining, instead of using an umbrella, try holding an empty drinking glass above your head. That’s exactly how I thirst for your love."