"I buried the lasagna, because it was better than disposing of a dead body. I’ve been burned in a relationship, but never in an oven. I’ll try harder."
"We had a lavender kind of love, so soothing and smooth, and if I could bottle up what we had, you'd want it all over your body."
"Our love went from fly to flower to butterfly, and it was meant to beautifully flutter, not sit still on a shelf like a trophy to be collected."
"I think I’m mouth blind and that’s why all food tastes bland. The only things that have any flavor are the words I love you."
"Once a Ponce a time she made me feel like a conquistador. Now her memory is just a breeze seen in swaying Spanish moss."
"I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin."