More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"To show you I love you, I bought you an antique watch. You can tell it's old because it doesn't even work. I got a great deal on it."
"My hobbies include rubbing my nipples across a cheese grater, meeting cat ladies on Tinder, and voting for either Democrat or Republican every four years. You could say I am a torture enthusiast."
"Me and her, we’re both hiding who we really are. This is a common practice. It’s called dating."
"It takes guts to love with gusto. Most people love as if they wish they were invisible, and then they wonder why their affections go unnoticed."
"My coffee cup is empty. Why don't you pour your love in and wake up my soul?"