More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"My cat is ignorant of the law. But then so am I. That means I am not his master, because we are both slaves."
"An empty ketchup bottle full of romantic quotes is just what I need to turn my cheeseburger into the perfect lover. Now you can get more romantic for an upcharge of just 69 cents."
"I think eulogies are wasted on the dead. It’s the living who need to hear kind words spoken about them."
"I give 110% in love. If that seems absurd, just know that I used presidential voting machines to calculate that number. It's totally legit."
"When I was young, I was 13 going on 31. Then when I was 30 going on 31, I was 30 going on 29. Now I’m in love and I’ve lost all sense of time—and all the rest of my sense."