The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. - Mark Twain

"Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms."

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know."

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."

"Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident."