The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. - Mark Twain

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know."

"I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!"

"It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech."

"What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey."

"Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it."