I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billio... - Mark Twain

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."

"A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar."

"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it."

"What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey."