More quotes by Mark Twain

"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."
"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody."
"Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream."
"A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat."