More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Love burns. Whiskey burns. George Burns. What do all three have in common? They’re all dead to me."
"I remember her words about remembering my words, and that’s when it hit me: the quickest way to scalpel open a heart is with a declaration of love."
"To show you I love you, I bought you an antique watch. You can tell it's old because it doesn't even work. I got a great deal on it."
"I think eulogies are wasted on the dead. It’s the living who need to hear kind words spoken about them."
"I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some."