More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Being a waiter is a waste of time, because think of all that waiting. But it’s better than loving someone who doesn’t love you back, because if you’re going to wait around, you might as well get paid for it."
"I’d fight for your love like I’m Tyler Durden. I want you to hit on me as hard as you can."
"The heart pumps blood, a fluid, but it also pulses love, which is as liquid as a wave, and everyone wants a refill. My goal is to be a server."
"Wherever there’s a gathering of people, there is networking going on. My favorite place to network is the cemetery."
"A slinky is a toy made for stairs, but that’s entirely too tiresome. What about a toy for escalators that doesn’t move and does nothing and that’s the whole point? I think Americans would relate to and embrace that mentality."