More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"77 degrees in the fall feels cold, and 77 degrees in the spring feels hot. That’s why I’m selling year-round-nudity for half-price."
"I sped-read through a book that probably weighed a pound, though I only gleaned about nine ounces of information. That's because it was a book on love that I read while making love. I multitask like I pay by the hour."
"As a sculptor, I prefer busts. As a lover of women, I prefer busts. And as a football enthusiast, I prefer Robert Griffin III."
"Man has two legs and chairs have four, because we were made to stand out, not sit down—or be sat on. You are your brand—you are not a piece of furniture. Well, this applies to everyone except my grandma, but she’s dead, so she really doesn’t mind being used as a coat rack."
"If you convert a shower curtain to a dress, I’ll wear my waterproof dancing shoes. Together we’ll move so fluidly people will line up to get cleansed."