More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’m an only child, and therefore I gave birth to my parents, because if it weren’t for me, they wouldn’t even be parents."
"All my failures as a human being I blame on my father. Life is about accepting responsibility, and it’s time my father started being held accountable for my deficiencies."
"I drank so much booze I was bamboozled. Alcohol makes my mind as discombobulated as love makes my heart. I’d sure appreciate it if you poured me a large glass of romance."
"When I die, remember to remove my body from the cooler before you start making the hunch punch. But by all means, do get drunk on my memory."
"For our first date we went Dutch. We would have gone another nationality, but they are the tallest."