"I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?"
"Her heart is so dark, if it were ink it’d be beyond black and would only be good for writing a murder mystery novel."
"You should save your hard-earned dollars, because one day when you have no electricity you'll need a big stash to burn to keep yourself warm."
"Our love went from fly to flower to butterfly, and it was meant to beautifully flutter, not sit still on a shelf like a trophy to be collected."
"I leave my door locked and unlocked. You know, for stopportunities. As a lover, I’ve been known—and unknown—to be like Zeno."
"I belong, and my penis, it be long."