More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

"Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log."
"I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that."
"You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled."
"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is."
"I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that."