I just invented a hug machine. It’s solar powered so you can... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I just invented a hug machine. It’s solar powered so you can use it when you feel depressed, like on a cloudy day. Shit."
"I just invented a hug machine. It’s solar powered so you can use it when you feel depressed, like on a cloudy day. Shit."
"My love for you grows daily, and all it takes is exposure to your sunny disposition, coupled with watering it with coffee."
"I would argue that unless the two people are in love, all sex is bad sex, because why eat cotton candy when you can have edible clouds? Sure, it seems sweet at the time, but that’s just a carnival and carnal rush and wears off quickly. But love adds an extra dimension that takes an earthy thing like sex and makes it absolutely heavenly."
"When I compliment you, I compliment myself, because I am who I associate with."
"If you have a broken heart, I’d like to fix it. Repairs start at just $69. Special delivery charges may apply."
"She’s twelve hours in the future, and exactly half a world away. No matter how hard I try, I will always be a part of her past."