More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"A sofa on an elevator would be like a slow roller coaster where you get to work on your small talk skills. Oh yes, I am an adrenaline junky."
"For the funeral I needed a plus one, so I rented a hooker. And then I rented a movie. Rest in peace Grandpa, or whoever you were."
"I’d rather sell one thing for one million dollars, than sell one million things for one dollar each. I feel the same about my love and women."
"Our love will blend together like turquoise is blue and green. There’s no depression or envy when both blur into one."
"An empty ketchup bottle full of romantic quotes is just what I need to turn my cheeseburger into the perfect lover. Now you can get more romantic for an upcharge of just 69 cents."