More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’ll mark up my services 200%, and then offer them to you at a 50% discount—because I like you so much. That’s the Mother-in-law Discount."
"She brews a bruise on my heart, and drinks it like a beer. She calls it love, but she would, because she’s drunk on my torment."
"Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses."
"Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses."
"My brain is divided into two butterflies, and both are in love with your rose-shaped heart. If you've got the garden, I've got my whole life."