I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The middle finger is a great body language tool for letting people know you’re upset. Poetry isn’t quite as effective in a fit of road rage."

"I feel like dancing. If I bring an extra wheelchair for you, would you like to join me?"

"The chair I want for my office has wheels, so I can put it on my treadmill and get some exercise while I work. Likewise, we can’t let a love like ours just roll on by without trying to work things out."

"I am so extreme that I do parkour like a caterpillar gyrates. My movements are slow and methodical, but eventually my free running takes flight. I love the same exact way, and my romance has the essence of a butterfly."

"Some men have actually died from laughing. That's so funny I fear for my own life."