I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some."
"I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some."
"If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now."But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast."
"Just when you thought you’d considered all the angles, life goes from a square to a cube. Love should also be 3D."
"When she tried to seduce me, I got suspicious, thinking she was just after my massive fortune. Then I relaxed, when I remembered I'm poor."
"We had a lavender kind of love, so soothing and smooth, and if I could bottle up what we had, you'd want it all over your body."
"Sometimes I’ll forget a utensil’s name, and I’ll say, “Give me that pointy thing,” as I point with my pointy finger."