"Both of the items were used in an attempted murder, but hers was a dagger, and mine was a baby’s rubber bottle nipple. That was the last time I took a stab at love."
"He was an introverted kid, so I didn’t send him to his room as punishment. No, I took him to a party."
"I haven’t spent my time trying to duplicate my success. But only because I haven’t had any yet."
"I have always loved camping, ever since I was eight, and was forcibly stuffed in a trunk and dropped off in the middle of the forest. My dad was a complex man, but I believe he was trying to show me the value of camping."
"I don't understand people who say they need more "Me Time."What other time is there? Do these people spend part of their day in someone else's body?"
"My brain is divided into two butterflies, and both are in love with your rose-shaped heart. If you've got the garden, I've got my whole life."