More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"My brain is divided into two butterflies, and both are in love with your rose-shaped heart. If you've got the garden, I've got my whole life."
"I am a fisherman among farmers, and as a farmer what I grow is tired of waiting for her to love me."
"I asked if she wanted kids. She said her clock is ticking. I said, That’s because I set it five minutes ahead when you weren’t looking."
"Tweeting is talking into the abyss, filling a void in your life by avoiding real human contact."
"My girlfriend bought me a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don’t get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk."