More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Her and I, we have a two chairs and a table kind of love. You should pull up a feeling and have a seat."
"Our love will blend together like turquoise is blue and green. There’s no depression or envy when both blur into one."
"Love is like war, except without all the blood and death and stuff."
"When anybody asks me what time it is, I always say, “Yesterday, plus 24 hours."
"Man has two legs and chairs have four, because we were made to stand out, not sit down—or be sat on. You are your brand—you are not a piece of furniture. Well, this applies to everyone except my grandma, but she’s dead, so she really doesn’t mind being used as a coat rack."