More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"She said she loved me, and I believed her, because she was looking directly at another man when she said it."
"Using a mannequin and some rope, could you ride two bicycles at once? Next time, try three bikes. Then truly love someone, because that’s even harder."
"The darkness has ink eyes, and if you stare long enough, you’re going to see it blink black. That’s the moment to start writing."
"Everything I’ve learned about handshakes is from hands-on experience. Due to hygiene, I only network with rubber glove manufacturers."
"A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love."