"I see two women, one in a reflection in a window, and the other I see through the window, and it's like I'm looking at both my past and future at the same time."
"A tornado is the ultimate coffee grinder. Just add water, and you’ll wake the whole trailer park."
"Wisdom is knowing when you are being patient, and when you are wasting time by waiting."
"I used to sell hellos by the wave until I found out Dark Jar Tin Zoo was reselling them on eBay as goodbyes. Now I’m a yawn distributor."
"The clouds are like marble in the sky, and I just want to make a kitchen counter out of the atmosphere. I can cook like a flock of birds."
"Her love was too cold, like an anti-oven. That's called a freezer, and sometimes it burns food. She gave me heartburn, just like coffee, and it really woke me up to the reality of relationships."