"I see two women, one in a reflection in a window, and the other I see through the window, and it's like I'm looking at both my past and future at the same time."
"You haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen zero. You also haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen all the love I have for politicians."
"I went out to eat on a restaurant’s opening night. It was packed! I guess people heard I’d be dining there and came to adore me."
"I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some."
"Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by."
"The other day I woke up to find my girlfriend already gone from the house, and a sticky note on the fridge that said, "I love you.""Oh my God,"I thought. "Somebody's obsessed with me, and they kidnapped my girlfriend just to get closer to me."