I used to sell hellos by the wave until I found out Dark Jar... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Half-assing it twice isn’t giving it 100%, but both can be yours for the one-time low-price of half off. Also on SALE now: My love. Order yours today."

"My hobbies include rubbing my nipples across a cheese grater, meeting cat ladies on Tinder, and voting for either Democrat or Republican every four years. You could say I am a torture enthusiast."

"A love story in six words: Hello. Goodbye. In between was marriage."

"Some people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time."

"Poor is the man who thinks money makes him wealthy. Love is the true treasure, and the more you give away, the more you have."