"I strum a fishing pole line like a guitar string. I hunt like a bow and arrow is a partial harp. And I make love like I’ve got a Buy One Get One FREE coupon."
"Dogs have four legs, just like chairs. I would take mine for a walk, but I’m sitting on it."
"I’ve changed, and she’s changed, but we haven’t changed together. We were in separate dressing rooms the whole time we dated."
"I want to create a 3-4 deal—buy three for the price of four. Offer valid for any product but love, which is one for the price of two only."
"The best part about being a writer is being able to communicate with people without moving my lips. The mouth is better used for kissing."
"Glue holds stuff together pretty well. But why not try using guitar music as an adhesive? After all, it’s held many bands together."