"I type as fast as a ten-legged man who just had eight legs chopped off runs."
"The morning always has a way of creeping up on me and peeking in my bedroom windows. The sunrise is such a pervert."
"Love is an art. Mine could fill a museum the size of your heart."
"I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it."
"I am the red wheelbarrow of communism. William Carlos Williams wrote a poem about me."
"The difference between me and a scientist is a little word called “Science.” I don’t believe in it. Science has yet to validate my disbelief in Bigfoot."