"I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it."
"I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cooking and not fear ruining my dinner."
"You know what I like most about people? Pets."
"People always ask me if I’m into sports, and I say, “Well, isn’t writing a sport? If you’re doing it right, and you have a deadline, you should be sweating."
"I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it."
"I type as fast as a ten-legged man who just had eight legs chopped off runs."