More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want to write the Boston Marathon of run-on sentences. And since it'll be so long, I'll replace all the commas with the word Gatorade, to help push people through it."
"I want to write a poem about "Truth,""Honor,""Dignity,"and whether the toilet paper should roll over or under when you pull on it."
"I want to get the words "Courage"and "Bravery"tattooed across my back, so people could associate me with those things as they read them while they chase me."
"I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married."
"I want to end global hunger by feeding half the world’s starving people to the other half."