More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I like to spoon after I fork."
"I want to see an elephant hunt down a man for the sole purpose of collecting his teeth, while a chorus of typewriters sings songs that praises the bananas for their wisdom, leadership, and their high levels of potassium."
"I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married."
"I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will be exactly the same length as the Bible."
"I want to write a poem about "Truth,""Honor,""Dignity,"and whether the toilet paper should roll over or under when you pull on it."