I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Lat... - Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable."

"I want to create a seventeen-syllable word that encompasses the human condition, and then use that word to form the world’s most perfect haiku."

"I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married."

"I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair."

"I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will be exactly the same length as the Bible."