I want to open up a School of Cannibalism. It’ll be a feeder... - Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

"I walk with a purpose. And a limp. (The limp helps serve my purpose, which is to gain sympathy.)"

"My soul left my body, and my body left my clothes and went streaking through the streets."

"Between hello and goodbye is I love you."

"Lie to me. Just to console my soul."

"Success is suffocating. The air is thinner at the top."