Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

"Between hello and goodbye is I love you."

"The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content."

"Competition is healthy. Especially when all your competitors are unhealthy, and hopefully sick and absent during the competition."

"I walk with a purpose. And a limp. (The limp helps serve my purpose, which is to gain sympathy.)"

"I want to meddle with an Olympic medal made of silver metal. I want to alchemize it into gold, and use a mixture of science and mysticism to transform losing into winning."

"Lie to me. Just to console my soul."

"Between hello and goodbye is I love you."

"Between hello and goodbye is I love you."

"The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content."

"Success is suffocating. The air is thinner at the top."

"Between hello and goodbye is I love you."

"I want to open up a School of Cannibalism. It’ll be a feeder school for top law schools."

"The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content."

"Between hello and goodbye is I love you."

"My soul left my body, and my body left my clothes and went streaking through the streets."

"The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content."

"I heard a song I hate and I thought of her. Ah, such is love."