Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

"The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content."

"Competition is healthy. Especially when all your competitors are unhealthy, and hopefully sick and absent during the competition."

"The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content."

"Lie to me. Just to console my soul."

"The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content."

"I heard a song I hate and I thought of her. Ah, such is love."

"The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content."

"Between hello and goodbye is I love you."

"Between hello and goodbye is I love you."

"Between hello and goodbye is I love you."

"I walk with a purpose. And a limp. (The limp helps serve my purpose, which is to gain sympathy.)"

"I want to meddle with an Olympic medal made of silver metal. I want to alchemize it into gold, and use a mixture of science and mysticism to transform losing into winning."

"My soul left my body, and my body left my clothes and went streaking through the streets."

"Between hello and goodbye is I love you."

"I want to open up a School of Cannibalism. It’ll be a feeder school for top law schools."

"Between hello and goodbye is I love you."

"Success is suffocating. The air is thinner at the top."