More quotes by Mark Twain

"Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident."
"Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out."
"Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven."
"The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies."
"A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat."