More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I didn’t give her my full attention. The bottle was half full when she started drinking. Still, from it she grew distracted, so my farming technique worked."
"I make friends as easily as water freezes in an active volcano. Remember: handshakes feel more natural if you leave your rubber gloves at home. Unless you enjoy networking in public restrooms."
"Man has two legs and chairs have four, because we were made to stand out, not sit down—or be sat on. You are your brand—you are not a piece of furniture. Well, this applies to everyone except my grandma, but she’s dead, so she really doesn’t mind being used as a coat rack."
"If a company won't hire you, why don't you start your own company? Steve Jobs created jobs, he didn't apply for them. #Startup your dreams."
"Science doesn’t listen. Science has mice growing out of its ears. Wait, I mean human ears growing out of its mice."