"I must be a great leader because many people follow me. Most of the people are police officers, if that gives you any indication of my character."
"The Sacred and The Scared. Which of these two categories does your love fall under? I should write a love poem on a rolled-up scroll so you’d know which one categorizes mine."
"I don’t want my love with her to wither like grapes on a vine, so I’ll water it with romance to turn it into wine."
"A relationship is a sales process, and sometimes you must buy to sell, and when you sell it is to the benefit of both of you."
"If you don't think you need to develop your personal brand, my advice for you comes in the wisdom of two road signs: STOP; DEAD END."
"I just bought a new dishwasher. Some guy was selling two of them in a barn, and it was either that or get a horse, but horses leave spots on silverware."