I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the... - George Carlin
"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."
More quotes by George Carlin
"Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck"
"The planet is fine. The people are fucked."
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."
"Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes."
"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"