More quotes by George Carlin

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
"The planet is fine. The people are fucked."
"I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate."
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."
"I think I am, therefore, I am... I think."