More quotes by George Carlin

"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I"in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I"in independence, individuality and integrity."
"How is it possible to have a civil war?"
"I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up."