More quotes by George Carlin

"The planet is fine. The people are fucked."
"You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with."
"I think I am, therefore, I am... I think."
"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."
"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."