More quotes by George Carlin

"Meow” means “woof” in cat."
"It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot."
"Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure."
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot."