The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets al... - George Carlin

"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."

"I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I"in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I"in independence, individuality and integrity."

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."

"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."

"Meow” means “woof” in cat."