"I would argue that unless the two people are in love, all sex is bad sex, because why eat cotton candy when you can have edible clouds? Sure, it seems sweet at the time, but that’s just a carnival and carnal rush and wears off quickly. But love adds an extra dimension that takes an earthy thing like sex and makes it absolutely heavenly."
"When I lost her I gained the future, because she was my past, and she freed me to become who I was born to be."
"She said love her or be tortured by her. I replied, "Torture would be less painful."She didn't realize that I'm a true romantic."
"A tornado is the ultimate coffee grinder. Just add water, and you’ll wake the whole trailer park."
"Life goal: Swim in a lake full of soup, and instead of bathing suits we’ll wear Ziploc bags while we make love like we’re feeding the homeless."
"I don’t like my circle of friends, so I’m changing them to a square. Love shapes our lives, so why not shape who we love?"