I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more ro... - Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"

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More quotes by Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"Our love was covered in fur, yet I was the only one who wanted to pet it."
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"I told my doctor my penis was as thin as a spaghetti noodle. I asked if there was anything I could do to bulk it up, and he said, “Yeah, tell your girl to twirl it on a fork before she puts it in her mouth."
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"Napoleon made war like I make love—from a height of about 68 centimeters. (I wear platform shoes while I’m on my knees)"
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"I am not the Bird of Love I once thought I was. But my silence suggests I may be the Pterodactyl of Love."
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"Love means never having to say you’re sorry for a minor stab wound."
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