"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"
"Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling."
"Why take the stairs when someone else can take them for you? Love is like a flight of stairs—somebody’s going to take them, so I may as well be unselfish and take the elevator."
"I know a thing or two about love. Well, maybe just a thing. A big, blurry thing, like Bigfoot."
"My love is rare, like a hornless unicorn."
"Love is silence multiplied by noise and divided by two."