"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"
"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."
"Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights."
"Escalators are the offspring of elevators and stairs. Love is the progeny of passion and admiration."
"Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe."
"I cook. My favorite thing to make is love."