Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"I wish every envelope enclosed a love letter. It’s this hope that leads me to open strangers’ mail. So you see, I’m a romantic, not an NSA employee."

"I spray-paint my underwear gold, because it makes me feel like a winner. When two people are in love, one is always in second place."

"Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can."

"I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love."

"I am the three minutes of 180 seconds, and I don’t do refills. I’m a lover, not a farmer."

"You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fountain pen."

"I love you because I love you, and if you don’t like it you can use my circular logic as a noose and hang yourself."

"I am the broth of love. Make soup to me."

"Drink my Distraction Juice (not from concentrate). It tastes like love, only not so focused on just one ingredient."

"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."

"Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe."

"It doesn’t take a hurricane to blow out a birthday candle. Let this be a lesson in love—and cake etiquette."

"Two empty chairs are not a good use of space. Fill them up with love."

"Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe."

"The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m like that with love, too. Don’t you dare add any ice to the hot liquid loving I’m trying to pour all over you."

"She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you"with "May I take your order?"

"To become one who believes two become one, you need love in your life."

"To become one who believes two become one, you need love in your life."

"I wish every envelope enclosed a love letter. It’s this hope that leads me to open strangers’ mail. So you see, I’m a romantic, not an NSA employee."

"Love is you wearing her favorite shirt of yours, just like you did yesterday and the day before. And the day before that too."