Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"I love you because I love you, and if you don’t like it you can use my circular logic as a noose and hang yourself."

"It’s me and you, or me and knitting. Don’t make me choose. Ugh, #love."

"As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone."

"To become one who believes two become one, you need love in your life."

"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."

"If I had no penis, how would I pee? How would I make love? How would I think?"

"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."

"When I make love, I make extra, and then I keep it in my pants pockets. Well, not all of it. I give an inappropriate amount to the tax collectors."

"I am the archaeologist of love. I’m digging for the bones of a loved one I shot and buried decades ago."

"We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off."

"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."

"Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price."

"Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling."

"As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone."

"The race is long, and I am sprinting. If I ever see her again, I’ll probably be too out of breath to tell her I love her."

"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."

"I am the broth of love. Make soup to me."

"I love you because I love you, and if you don’t like it you can use my circular logic as a noose and hang yourself."

"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"

"Two butterflies in two socks could walk faster than I can run. A love song will jog your memory like I jog like Roger Bannister in a wheelchair."