"I believe in true love. But my opinion is tainted, because I also believe in Bigfoot, aliens, and in the existence of honest politicians."
"I love you because I love you, and if you don’t like it you can use my circular logic as a noose and hang yourself."
"Love isn’t all flowers, candles, and dancing midgets. No, it is much, much taller than all that."
"In a bookstore you can find me in the romance section, because I’m not a lover, I’m a reader."
"A windmill has arms, but does not hug. Where’s the love?"
"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"