"If anybody is looking to rent a dancing partner for an evening, I have one left in stock. That one is me, and I am on sale ‘til Tuesday at two."
"I'm asexual, though occasionally I'm attracted to inanimate objects. Mainly tube-shaped objects."
"I have a Rubik’s Cube for a rearview mirror, because the past is the only time puzzle I can solve. My love for her only looks clear there."
"I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don’t work there, I tell them I’d like to. But not today, as I’m sick."
"I drink like a fish, and I swim in my thirst. I’m so parched for her love that I think I may drown in my desire."
"My sole possession is my passion, for no one can rob me of it. More fiery than love, it does not depend on another to blaze."