More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"You can never be too early to stand around and wait. You can have a seat in this chair, after I cinch the noose around my neck and you kick it out from under my legs."
"When I dance, I’m so fluid you could drink my moves. And if you sip it with your morning coffee, you’ll be light on your feet all day."
"A relationship is a sales process, and sometimes you must buy to sell, and when you sell it is to the benefit of both of you."
"I arose like a rose, and this is how I knew I was in love. In the garden of life, I’m better off in your neighbor’s yard."
"She’s ignoring my texts. Maybe she’s dead. Oh, I certainly hope so. I’d hate to think she’s being deliberately unresponsive."