More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Her and I, we passed each other, and now she’s in my past. That’s one present I’d like to unwrap in the future."
"She has a body for years, and I have an astronaut tan. When we make love it will be like (x + 2)(2x -1) = 0, solve for x."
"I love kiss whispers—kisspers. Loose lips are full of passionate secrets."
"I have two hands, so when I’m networking and I meet two new people, is it OK to shake both their hands at once? Or would it be more appropriate to organize a group hug?"
"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."